


At the End of the Road

by ArianneMaya



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Fisting, M/M, Power Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2013-01-15
Packaged: 2017-11-25 15:18:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/640235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArianneMaya/pseuds/ArianneMaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>It’s the first step, and it’s always the moment that scares him the most. When he lets down his first wall and admits that he needs everything Terrance can give him on nights like this.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	At the End of the Road

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wynkat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wynkat/gifts).



> Written for the [Happy Bertidays](http://happybertidays.dreamwidth.org/) exchange, as a gift for [ Wynkat](http://wynkat.dreamwidth.org/). I used the prompt “Adam's tired and worn out and his partner knows what he needs.” Dear recipient, I hope you enjoy this story and thank you for saying yes to the crazy bunny your prompt created in my head.  
> And for the record, Leela's beta is amazing and this story is so much better now than it would have been without her help.

Adam sighs in relief after he closes the door behind Tommy, who’s always the last to leave. Tonight was typical of those evenings when they’re all aware that the tour is coming to an end, and that this little bubble they’ve created for themselves, between buses and planes, venues and bars, will disappear as they return to their everyday lives. 

Everyone stayed longer than they meant to, first because they were still riding the adrenaline from the show, and then because they didn’t want the evening to end. They didn’t want to be reminded that tonight was their last show together until… who knows when. 

Adam’s the one who kept the evening going, but now he wants nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep for a week. He’s at the end of his rope, at the point where he won’t get any rest unless someone gently sets him back on his feet. 

He walks back into the living room to find Terrance right where he left him, lying on the couch. As soon as Adam walks in, Terrance smiles, soft and sleepy, and opens his arms. “Come here.”

Without a word, Adam settles beside Terrance, laying his head on Terrance’s chest, his arms holding onto Terrance like a lifeline. He closes his eyes as he feels Terrance stroking his back and his hair. 

“Think you could sleep, Adam?”

He shakes his head. Not yet. The energy that kept him going through the madness of the tour is still blurring the edges of his mind. Rest is an illusion at this point, something that he can’t achieve by himself. 

Tonight, though, he can’t bring himself to ask. So he waits as Terrance tightens his grip, until he hears a soft, “Let me take care of you tonight?” 

It’s not really a question, but Terrance always voices it as if it was. Reminding Adam every time that he has a way out if it’s not what he needs. 

Adam nods, but he’s aware it’s not enough. He has to say it out loud if he wants anything to happen. He still has to force the words out, the, “Yes. Please, Ter,” that sets the mood for the night. It’s the first step, and it’s always the moment that scares him the most. When he lets down his first wall and admits that he needs everything Terrance can give him on nights like this. 

There’s a small kiss on the side of his head, acknowledgement and acquiescence all at once. Then Terrance says, “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Adam’s face grows hot at the thought and he says, as fast as he can, “Already done.”

He feels fingers under his chin, tilting his head. “Look at me.”

Slowly, Adam opens his eyes, waiting until Terrance understands what Adam meant. Adam bites his lips for the few seconds it takes, hoping that he won’t have to say it out loud. It doesn’t matter how much he needs to let go. He’s not ready for that yet. 

He knows the exact moment when Terrance gets it, when the touch on Adam’s face turns into a caress as Terrance asks, “That bad, boo?”

Adam tries to get _I need_ out but his voice fails him and everything he’s feeling clogs his throat, making it impossible for him to say anything except for, “you.”

Terrance lets him lay his head down again as he says, “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” 

They stay like that, not moving, and Adam lets himself drift. The quietness he’s seeking is still just out of his reach, but he breathes a little easier now he knows that Terrance will get him there. 

“A hot shower would do you some good,” Terrance says, still soft, but making Adam very aware that he’s not asking, he’s telling. “Come on.”

This time Adam doesn’t protest and lets Terrance pull him off the couch and into the bathroom. He reaches for the edges of his shirt, but before he can do anything he finds both his wrists held by Terrance’s hands, in a grip firm enough to remind him that it isn’t his choice, not here, not now.

“Let me.” 

Adam nods and relaxes his fingers. Another step in the road toward the first real moment of rest he’s had in weeks. He’s still too far from really letting go, though, and they both know it. 

Pulling Adam back with an arm around his waist, Terrance holds him close, tight, and Adam falls into the embrace, lets Terrance take his weight. He’s clingy and needy, touch-starved to the point where it’s driving him crazy. 

He feels a kiss on the side of his neck, and his breath catches in his throat as Terrance asks, “Trust me?”

It takes the space of a heartbeat or two before Adam can drop his head and reply, his voice barely above a whisper, “With my whole being.”

Saying it’s easy would be a lie. But that moment still allows Adam to release a little of the tight grip he always keeps on himself, to place himself in Terrance’s capable and loving hands.

Terrance holds Adam a little longer, and when he releases Adam it’s to let him go just far enough that Terrance can strip Adam’s clothes off. 

Closing his eyes, Adam lets himself forget everything but Terrance’s hands on his body, Terrance’s kisses on his skin, the words Terrance whispers, all the little things that lull Adam farther from reality and into the space where he can let himself be taken care of. 

The water beating over his tired body feels like heaven as Terrance crowds him against the wall. Adam sags against the tile, Terrance’s strong grip the only thing holding him up.

They stay like that for an eternity as Terrance kisses Adam, lazy and soft, a perfect counterpoint to the harsh touch of Terrance fisting Adam’s cock, bringing him to full hardness. 

Adam whole world is reduced to the beat of water on his skin, the sweet way Terrance is kissing him, the grip of Terrance’s hand on his cock, the way Terrance presses him into the wall, leaving him with nowhere to go. 

He moans into Terrance’s mouth, and Terrance releases his cock, his fingers gliding over Adam’s balls before finding his hole. Terrance pushes two soapy fingers inside, and Adam sighs. It’s a lot and not enough all at once, nothing more than a tease of what he really needs. Terrance ends the kiss and watches Adam as he thrusts his fingers in and out, the rhythm too slow to be satisfying.

Terrance thrusts his fingers all the way in, creating a constant pressure against Adam’s prostate, enough to make him shudder, enough to drag the first, “Please,” out of his mouth. 

“Is that what you need, boo?” Terrance asks, pressing his fingers even deeper, and Adam moans as he’s reminded of how much he needs tonight. “You need to be filled?”

“Please,” is the only word that escapes Adam’s mouth, and again, “Please, Ter, _please_.” His thoughts are already a mess, making it impossible for him to voice everything he wants, everything he needs. 

“I know,” Terrance says, fingers pushing and stroking, as he looks Adam right in the eyes. “Let me get you there, boo. Trust me.”

And just like that Adam’s reminded that Terrance gets him, that he always knows exactly what Adam needs. It’s enough for him to let go a little more, to lose himself in this feeling that is so very far from what he really needs, but which reminds him that he’ll get there, that Terrance will get him there. 

He lets Terrance dry him once they’re out of the shower, his firm touch feels of home and safety. Then Terrance guides him to their room, and settles him on their bed. Lying on his front, Adam does his best not to turn around to try and see what Terrance is doing as every little noise only makes his anticipation climb higher. 

His back tenses when he hears the unmistakable snap of a glove, but it’s Terrance’s bare hand that Adam feels on his back a moment later, soothing, comforting, tracing circles on his skin until he relaxes his muscles again, until he can feel nothing but the way Terrance moves his hand over him. 

Terrance gently slips a pillow under Adam’s hips, and his fingers flutter over Adam’s cock, just a hint of a caress. “Don’t hold back,” Terrance says. “Just feel.”

Adam breathes easier when he understands the implicit permission to let his body do what it wants without having to wait. Moment later, Terrance locks his arm around Adam’s waist, pulling him half on his side, his back to Terrance’s front, Terrance holding Adam tight against him. 

“Do you need the restraints?”

Adam shakes his head. “Just your hands. Please.”

Terrance tightens his grip, letting Adam lie on his front again but plastering himself to Adam’s back. “Breathe for me, boo. Breathe with me.”

Adam mimics Terrance’s rhythm, a long breath in and out, slow and steady. He closes his eyes and let himself be carried away by the hypnotic rhythm. Adam can feel Terrance’s chest barely moving against Adam’s back, nothing existing anymore but them, together. 

A hand at his hip surprises him when Terrance moves away, but not enough to bring him out of his relaxed state. However, when Terrance says, “Let’s try not to make too much of a mess,” Adam can’t help but open his eyes and look at Terrance over his shoulder. Terrance’s eyes are shining with glee as he places a towel under Adam’s hips. 

Adam pushes himself up on his elbow to help and can only laugh as he’s reminded of that one time when they upended a whole bottle of lube over the bedcovers, and only managed to make it worse when they tried to salvage it. 

Laughing finishes relaxing him, and as he lies down again, there isn’t a hint of tension on his body. Nothing but the little smile left behind, and that he doesn’t want to get rid of.

It takes too long for Terrance to get back, and just as Adam’s about to start fidgeting, he feels the heavy pressure of Terrance’s arm on his lower back. “I’m here, boo. I’m right here with you.”

Adam melts into the bed as Terrance gently pushes Adam’s arms over his head, then Terrance’s arm rests against Adam’s lower back, holding him against the bed. Adam’s fingers curl into the bedcovers of their own accord, and he closes his eyes again, finally reaching that place where nothing matters. Where the weight of Terrance’s arm against Adam’s back is enough to make him feel safe and grounded. 

“Keep breathing,” Terrance reminds Adam as he let a little more of his weight rest on Adam’s back. His gloved fingers find Adam’s asshole, a steady pressure that is so very far from what Adam needs tonight. “Spread your legs a little more.”

Adam does, folding one of his arms to rest his head in the crook of his elbow. He forces himself to focus on breathing as Terrance breaches him, first one finger, then two. It makes him feel just as full and empty at the same time as it did in the shower, and Adam whines, high in his throat. He buries the noise in his arm. He wants more, he needs more, but he’s aware that tonight will happen at Terrance’s pace, and there’s nothing Adam can do to make him hurry. 

He feels a kiss at the base of his spine, more lube spread over him, and finally, a third finger. Adam shivers, and he can’t resist moving his hips to try and take Terrance’s fingers deeper. It takes the pressure of Terrance’s arm against his back, and a whispered, “Wait, boo,” for Adam to get himself back under control and stay immobile.

“Let me get you there, Adam,” Terrance says again. 

Adam unwinds a little more at the reminder that he can’t control this, that he shouldn’t even try to. He doesn’t need to do anything but feel. 

Terrance takes his time, fingers thrusting in and out at a lazy pace, each movement opening Adam up, making him ready for more. 

Adam hides another moan in the crook of his elbow when Terrance pushes his fingers deep inside, just a tease of what’s coming next, and Terrance’s arm leaves his back for a second, comes back in a caress along Adam’s spine. “Let me hear you, boo. Let me hear how much you need this.”

His tenderness pushes Adam just that little bit farther, and he all but melts into the bed when the pressure of Terrance’s hand on his back intensifies. After that, he doesn’t even try to keep in the noise, finally allowing himself to let go and just feel. 

“Good, boo. You’re always so good for me,” Terrance murmurs and he pushes his fingers deep inside, a firm, constant pressure against Adam’s prostate. 

Adam can’t help making tiny thrusts with his hips against the bed, his cock leaking precome, and it takes the weight of Terrance’s arm on his lower back again to immobilize him. “We’re not there yet, Adam. Don’t hurt yourself.”

Adam’s whimper is half pleasure and half frustration, but he doesn’t protest. His world is reduced to the heavy weight of Terrance’s arms on his back, to the unrelenting pressure of Terrance’s fingers deep inside his ass, to the soft words Terrance keeps whispering as he slowly creates a cocoon of love and tenderness where Adam can hide.

“You ready for more?” Even as he asks, Terrance spreads his fingers, and Adam can feel his body giving easily. Still he holds in the plea that comes to him on instinct and lets himself forget everything but his body, the burn that he can now barely feel as Terrance opens him up, the fullness that still doesn’t feel complete. 

Terrance’s words, instead of making him beg as they would another day, force him to focus on himself and the way he feels. To dig deeper and deeper inside himself, to find the safe haven Terrance can always create for him, even when it feels so far out of his reach. 

His voice is soft and dreamlike when he replies, “Yes. I’m ready.” 

Adam concentrates on his breathing and feels a kiss on the small of his back. “Good boy.” 

Again, there’s the thick feeling of more lube, then Terrance pulls his fingers out, and Adam’s breath catches in his throat when Terrance’s back with four fingers. 

The burn is back, and there’s static in Adam’s ears. It’s too much and still not enough. His cock is hard and leaking yet he can remain immobile without even trying, biting his lip as his body tries to adjust. 

Terrance spreads his fingers and Adam chokes on a moan, tears burning the corners of his eyes. It doesn’t hurt, not exactly, but it’s just this side of uncomfortable, pushing him to the point where he has no idea if he wants more, or less. Adam can’t feel anything but Terrance and the way he’s playing with Adam’s body. 

Before Adam has time to think, Terrance whispers, “I want to see you take my whole hand.”

Then Adam keens when he feels the wonderful, glorious pressure of Terrance’s fingers again as Terrance tucks in his thumb and pushes again. Adam can’t understand Terrance’s words anymore, his nonsense and encouragement, as every small thrust opens Adam’s ass up a little more. 

He’s shaking with desire and the intensity of everything he’s feeling. He’s invaded and open to everything, to every little sensation that digs under his skin. Terrance thrusts his fingers, a little farther every time – “so gorgeous, stretched out around my hand” – and Adam can’t stop moaning, as mess of “please” and “more” that doesn’t make any sense. 

“Nearly there, boo, you can take it.” 

And Adam shakes even harder when he feels the thick knot of Terrance’s knuckles, when the heavy weight of Terrance’s arms against his back is the only thing holding him in place. 

A sob is torn out of Adam’s throat when Terrance finally thrusts his hand all the way inside. Adam’s on sensory overload, barely feeling the soft, comforting circles Terrance’s fingers trace on his back, just as hypnotic as the tiny, barely there movement of Terrance’s hand – Terrance’s _fist_ – in his ass.

Every little motion feels ten time bigger, and Adam’s floating somewhere between pleasure and pain, his whole body a mess of sensations he has no hope of processing. So much that he barely feels the small, but oh-so intense pressure on his prostate as his muscles draw Terrance deeper and deeper until Adam finally gets the feeling of fullness he’d needed since the night started. He’s filled nearly to bursting, lost in a quiet world where nothing exists but Terrance filling him, owning him, protecting him. 

Fire sparks through Adam’s body and he comes, trembling as tears fall from his eyes. The feeling intensifies again when Terrance slowly, carefully removes his hand, leaving Adam feeling empty but still complete. 

It takes seconds for Terrance to take off and throw out the glove before gathering Adam into his arms. Adam’s still boneless, barely able to move on his own, so Terrance gently helps him move just enough so Terrance can grab the dirty towel, roll it in a bundle and throw it on the floor, then quickly uses a damp cloth to wash the mess of lube and come off Adam. 

Seconds later, he pulls Adam down with him, and Adam hides his face in Terrance’s neck as Terrance covers them both with a blanket. Adam’s tears, the last remnants of the stress of the tour, wet Terrance’s neck and shoulder. He barely hears the soothing nonsense Terrance whispers as he lets Adam shake out his tears.

Adam’s still lost halfway between reality and his own world. He closes his eyes and hides as Terrance’s kind touch and tender words draw a spell over him, taking him deeper and deeper. 

He lets the trust and love they share surround him, and he falls asleep in Terrance’s arms. 

Safe, at long last, in the reminder that no matter how crazy their life becomes, Adam will always have this safe haven where he can let go and just be. 


End file.
